challenges in Oli96.8FM

Today, was a lazy day! was just chilling at home and revisiting my memories! one thing that will always take top notch priority in my memoirs would be: OLI 96.8FM.

I remember how i started out learning Tamil in Oli! Although i aced in Tamil Language in my O' Levels and then got a B3 in "A" levels, I was never really exposed to the language much! Tamil movies, which cleared the censorship board, some how or the other never did make it past my parents DOGMATIC censorship! Would u believe t if i were to tell u the in my whole life, in totality, I MAY have watched some 50 movies max! With a Grandma who spoke only Malay and English, conversations in Tamil were limited! Yes, I was Brought up by my grandma till i was about 14years old! The only exposure that I had to Tamil was through Tamil Songs ranging from Thiyagaraja Bhagavathar to Illaiyaraja! As such, I remember passing my written exams Of Oli! but when it came to speaking the Language-I must admit that I did not know that one had to pronounce the various "la's" differently. But Mr Padmanabhan, the then AVP of Oli had faith in me and hired me, believing that I could and will pick up the language!

When I went through the training sessions, I knew I was resented my the many talented RJ's there who lived and breathed Tamil! Soon, I was put on air! I remember the first time i did a solo on air which meant i control the panel and make announcements all by myself with a senior producer supervising me on air! I was supervised by Pazhanisamy whose Tamil pronunciation was more then PERFECT! I was already very intimidated by his presence, coupled with extreme nervousness of controlling the panel and announcing and also bearing in mind tat my supervisors are all listening to the radio at that particular point made me nauseous with fear! I remember spending 3hours selecting the songs I was to play on my four hour slot in which only two hours was under my jurisdiction of song selection!I was to select half hour of songs for the 60's era and then half hour 70's and an hour of latest songs! I was new and HIGHLY ambitious! i spent 3 hours rummaging through hundreds of Records selecting the best to play during the 60's n 70's era! My rationalisation was that, CDs were often played by most of the other RJs whereas not many picked songs from the record collection, which was much more vast! I was very proud of my effort and song list that day! I remember very vividly, Pazhanisamy walking into the CONTI(Radio studio) with a newspapers in his hands! Wishing me Luck and sitting down opposite me, he opened the newspapers! I thanked me and tried to strike a small conversations to make myself feel comfortable in front of him! I started out OK and he congratulated me, but there was no rapport between the two of us. My first announce ment on air was: "Kalai Mani 9.03 Singapor Vanoli Kazhagam, Oli96.8. Neyargalukku Vanakkam koori Kolvathu Hayma Malini. Ippozhuthu muthal 9.30 varai 60galil vantha paadalgalai ketkalam!" this was totally scripted(scripted the night before from 7pm till 2am in the morning- with re-writting and rephrasing of the entire days script) and i must have gone through this paragraph more then fifty times just that morning itself! That was the announcement that warranted a "Congratulations" from Pazhanisamy!

After the announcement, I hit the play button on the panel and pushed up the fader to a level recommended to us during training! the song was on air and i switched of my mic button. After which came the "congratulations"from Pazhanisamy! He then asked if i could cue the next Record and went on to reading the papers.He told me to alert him before going on air again! I cued the next song and Got ready to make the announcement when I realised that the song was almost ending and I had to do a time check whick meant. I need to look at the clock above my head level on the wall in front of me and then write it down on the paper in front of me! Telling time then was such a challenge as you had to pay attention to the seconds hand. If it had crossed the 30second mark, when announcing, you have to read the next minute. but if it were before the 30second mark, you say the current time! And I must practise it once at least so that I pronounce my "la" properly! I panicked when i realised that I had no time to practise and hated the fact that 60s songs averaged a mere 3 minute 30seconds!I told pazhani i have to go on air now and i have not practised my next line. By then the song had finished and there was like a 3seconds of silence on air and pazhani rushed me to turn on the mic and just say the title of the next song which i did! In my mayhem, I forgot to switch off my mic." Pazhani started gesturing to the "ON AIR" sign on the wall which was glowing a bright blinding red! That is when I realised my mic was still on and switched it off! Of course, Pazhani "LECTURED" me and that did not ease things! I started Panicking more! My next song was "Athikkaai Kaai Kaai AAlang Kaai VEnnilavae! " I never knew that That song would have cost me my Career in Oli!

Well, today, I penned down my goals for this year in my diary, hoping that, by looking at it everyday, I will be channeling my energy towards the fulfilment of these goals! I have always set goals for myself and BIG goals, i must say. But there comes a point in your life, after achieving the goal,you ask yourself, so.... Whats next! A sense of depression enters and flood your being instead of jubilation! Wonder if others too feel the same way? The only way that i over come that depression is by setting bigger goals so that i am challenged to do something more! When i say goals, it can be a personal goal, a professional one etc! I have set some 7 goals for this year and have yet to act on it!!!! Procrastination! How sweet art thou to the slacking mind and body! Well, am just gonna let myself skive for another day and start working on my goals from Monday(will it happen? gotta wait n see).

Today is a big day for my friend! A very important day in her career. I have always been there for her and more so her for me for about 9 years now! She has been so stressed about her job for about 4 months now, even having a break down n all! But she is so committed in sticking by her job for the mere fact that its her responsibility to be there till the project ends! I admire her devotion but am thinking is it all worth the while? We work so hard everyday trying to please everyone else except ourselves? Our minds get so flooded with priorities that seem important for the day/week/month and loose focus on our fundamental priorities! For me, satisfaction would be in being able to smile on my death bed whilst revisiting my memories!

We work very hard to provide all the material things for our family, but are we spending the most important thing with them?- time? Every day i wish i could spend more Quality time with my children. there are times when we are with each other 24/7 and yet, after tucking them in bed, guilt fills my heart as to the QUALITY time i had with them. I could have been with them in the same room and still not be there! putting down my thought, it reminds me, its time for half hour of bedtime stories and answering the WHY questions time with my kids!

Good night for now!

2009!!! Blog or journal!

2009! One of the things that i wanted to do in 2009 is to start blogging! And viola!, i have started! I wanted to blog so as to keep a journal, not so much a diary, so as to record my aspirations and also share my varied emotions. Being a strong believer of goal setting, I have set goals for this year too. Hopefully, I will be disciplined enough to continue on this journey in pursuit of living a meaningful life.

The 1st day of 2009 has been totally good! Welcoming New year in a grand Party but minus the booze may have been a little hard for my husband to swallow, but it was his wish and so that was how it was! The day was awesome with quality time spent with the kids. Bringing them out for lunch to their favourite place - MacDonald's and buying them the one gift that they felt they very much needed- the wireless joystick for the video games! nice bed time story from CHICKEN SOUP for kid's soul gave me satisfaction over the new year!

I belief in making things happen for oneself and as such believe that i will be able to meet the challenges in life to make this year a wonderful childhood year for both my boys! Childhood- but then does the child in us ever grow up??? NOT at all does it! may this year be a sweetfull year for all the children in adults too!

Happy new year!